thegirlsclub

[Hakon]

I did wonder if recent changes had solved your dilemma as to who you would fight for.

I've known several crowns well enough to see inside the reign a little and in a few cases talked to them about the nuts and bolts of making it work. Everything I've seen first hand or heard from the horses mouth says it's a team effort. I don't think subordinate comes into it, from time to time one or other may come to the fore but typically to speak for both. Like any partnership you each support the other when it comes to your area of expertise.

You may wish to talk to people who have reigned in Drachenwald, I don't doubt that the view from inside is different than the view from outside. I know your Knight's Lady has been close to several crowns and has a lot of experience of the SCA but for this question I think a Royal Peer might be more help. The Queen also lives in your Barony and she may have an insight or two into reigning.

Another point to consider is that should either of you win you can change the whole feel of coronation by the way you do things. You may be able to find a way that works for both of you that puts you in a different light. The timing and manner of when you enter court changes quite a lot. For example Duchess Melusine rode into court at Jarl peregrine's side which might suit you better as more of an outward sign of equality.

H

[sven]

The subordinate-equal ruling status is an ever present topic among most couples that win in one way or another.

For some couples it is important that the winner crown the consort and that is the way they want it done, to me this kind of imbues a certain ranking between them.

For some the ruling as equals is more important, I dare say that the standard method in Drachenwald have been that the outgoing King and Queen crown the crown prince and princess simultaneously to emphasize the equalness.

Every time I have been involved we have tried hard to get the ongoing couple to voice their opinion and tailor the ceremony to suit their needs. Sometimes it does not work as supposed, people slip-up or forget a word so that some intricate meaning is lost but all reasonable Kings and Queens try hard to get the ongoing couple to get it their way. "The Coronation is your show" is the mantra sent to the ongoing couple.

As the time as King and Queen goes most couples work together just as they would in daily life, if the couple has a strong person and one less so then they likely will work as that on the throne. And if they feel equal in daily life that is likely how they will work as K and Q.

Often (in DW) only one of them are at an event and has to run the show themselves, I dare say its sad if a person does not get the chance to try it since its a different beast when you are alone in a foreign country trying to get the court and feast arranged as you want while people come up and want stuff from you... After having done that a couple of times most people get a different approach to monarchs.

I have noticed that it is a lot easier to rule if you live close to the other person, trying to always CC emails and discuss matters with someone not close by before making decisions is a pain which has led to un-equal work load in my experience. If that is how it plays out I think the best solution is to split the work somehow in a way that each of K and Q can be responsible for some decisionmaking.

It is not fun when someone after having reigned once or even a couple of times and still does not really grasp what its about since they have just been "on the ride".

Just my experience/opinions which is biased by being me.

I think the asking and voicing of concerns is a great way to spread tips and knowledge. And as always traditions are different in different areas.

/Sven

[Slaine]

himiltrude,
I think being Crown is too big a job to spend energy worrying about who is on top. If you want to do this service for your Kingdom, think about the people and not your own needs.

[estelle]