Posted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 8:11 pm Post subject: Does (emotional) guy stuff seem "stupid" to you?
A couple of times lately, I have had women tell me that I was really stupid about things that involve my wife, or with ladies in my company.
For instance, a high school kid called my wife "woman" in front of me in the PX food court about a week ago. I got all bent out of shape about that, and I was ready to put the kid through the bread slicer.
She handled him (and me) like a pro, I need to add. She's all smart and stuff. She's got more brains in her pinkie toe than I have in my whole body. She handled me so well that I am pretty sure that the kid never noticed that I wanted to kill him.
My wife said I was being stupid. She said he he was upset at her for flunking him back in 7th grade (two years ago) and he was wanting to assert that he was all grown up now, and he wasn't scared of her anymore.
I felt like it was one thing to call my wife a not quite insulting name, but not a name worthy of respect. I also felt like it was insulting to me to do it in front of me.
And it's still bothering me.
I mentioned it to her today over lunch. She said, once again, that I was being stupid, and that it doesn't have anything to do with me, but it still bothers me.
Am I being stupid?
Am I completely missing something really important?
I can see how you'd be upset when someone addresses someone you care about in a disrespectful way (I am assuming that the tone lent more disrespect to the not quite disrespectful wording). It seems, to me, that you are being endearingly protective.
To really make a judgment, more of the story needs telling, like what was said by both him and your wife. Are you upset about the incident itself, that the handling of it didn't involve you, or that your wife thinks you were being stupid? Did it bother you then, then your wife's opinion bothers you now? _________________ Courage, sacrifice, determination, commitment, toughness, heart, talent, guts. That's what little girls are made of; the hell with sugar and spice.
I used to get all bent out of shape when my husband would do stuff like that even though I can fight my own battles. Then I realized it's because he loves me and he knows I can stick up for myself but it's what men DO. He hasn't broken anybody yet and my pride is fine. _________________ It's not the most powerful animal that survives. It's the most efficient. -Georges St-Pierre
Try imagining all the possible consequences for you and your wife if you had done what you wanted to do. If you had physically assaulted an underage kid, in front of witnesses, would you have been arrested? Would your wife have had to bail you out of jail? Would you have been sued by anyone?
I agree that people, including kids, should not be allowed to get away with stupid, disrespectful behavior. However, I suspect that there are some ways to correct some people that involve psychology and not a whupping. Good teachers (and I expect drill sergeants) know how to intimidate mentally. From various stories you've told about your wife, she seems to be an expert in that.
Getting physical in response to disrespectful comments was never an option for me. I'm a really small female. Nor was it part of my upbringing or culture. I was brought up to use verbal and mental responses instead.
Dumbass kids are not worth the energy to try and correct when they're not yours anyway. They are hormone poisoned and their brains are immature. _________________ It's not the most powerful animal that survives. It's the most efficient. -Georges St-Pierre
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