thegirlsclub

SL.Vagus · Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 6:52 am Post subject: Female fighters and sexuality

This is something I am very curious about and would love to hear other peoples experiences and opinions on it.

What are some of the views/comments/experiences you have dealt with being a female fighter regarding your sexuality?

Have you been automatically labeled as a lesbian just because you fight? Have you been assumed to be straight? Or has it never been brought up?

For me it's been fifty fifty, some guys just automatically assume I'm gay (which I am) and there are others who have just assumed I'm straight.

So what's been your experience? Guys you are more then welcome to comment on this and I hope you would, it's great to get both sides.

Also what has been your experience with either being gay or the SCA's mentality about gay/lesbian fighters?

Jesmond · Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 4:33 pm Post subject:

I don't know. I'm pretty manish, so it's hard to say where the mannishness ends and the female fighter vibe begins.

I do seem to get hit on by more female waterbearers than male fighters. But I'm mannish, abrupt, direct, and don't really flirt, so that pretty much discourages most sane men.

But I don't think people here assume female fighters are gay without more. But I live in the midwest where short haired non make up wearing women wearing workboots are more likely to be farm wives than lesbians.
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Isabella E · Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 4:52 pm Post subject:

I've never been really feminine, so I'm just used to guys in particular reacting to me as one of the guys anyway. It doesn't bother me when they lump me in the 'not really a chick category'. Growing up everybody thought I was going to be gay (they were half way right) so it doesn't really enter into my mind and I've never had anyone say anything to me about my sexuality in regards to also being a fighter. I'm not sure that most fighters really give a shit. There's enough female fighters in my kingdom who are straight that I don't think it is an assumption for the most part and if it is, I sure as hell have never heard a single guy say so.

I think the overall mentality just in terms of people's opinions about sexuality is that it's just as mixed as outside the SCA.
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freiman the minstrel · Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 5:19 pm Post subject:

Vagus,

For reference, I'm a guy.

I am going to guess that there is something other than simply being a female fighter involved in people assuming that you are gay. Some folks just have better gaydar.

For instance,

Jess is indeed blunt, direct, non-flirtatious, and all business, but I have never, ever once assumed that she was gay. I just assumed that she was an attractive straight girl that wasn't interested in me.

Another fighter I am thinking of was also never interested in me, but I just sorta knew that she was batting for the other team, so to speak.

It might have nothing to do with fighting.

When I was single, I found karate tournaments a great place to meet girls that were keepers (i.e. longer term girlfriends).

Martial activities are not an indication of orientation, in my experience.

f
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audax · Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 2:11 am Post subject:

I have no idea what people assume because I'm so out, that if you don't know I'm gay you're just not paying attention.

I really don't care. It doesn't seem to matter. I get hit on by boys, I get hit on by girls. I just take it as a compliment, either way.
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Cunian · Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 3:16 am Post subject:

I got pegged as gay a lot when younger. It happened plenty in work and non-SCA environments, more I think than in the SCA. It never bothered me and I randomly considered the idea as the majority of my college buddies were lesbian and my grandmother was found to have been actively bi after her death and I didn't really find much of a personal sex drive in any direction. After I got married and had children, people have tended - very reasonably - to consider me straight.

Tibbie Croser · Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 1:13 pm Post subject:

Just wanted to note that being abrupt and direct in manner is fairly common for both sexes in parts of the Northeast (New Jersey, New York).

broinnfinn · Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 3:27 pm Post subject:

Well. I started fighting at 16 - and my entire dating history has been pretty much in the SCA. That rather voluminous record has left little doubt as to my orientation.

But I don't know that I have ever seen an assumption one way or another based on just being a fighter.

Bri.

Ceanag · Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 6:54 pm Post subject:

I don't wear make-up, I'm not a girly girl, and I generally prefer to hang out with men, but I've never been assumed to be gay.

I have had knights be rude to me or refuse to "waste" their time on teaching me because I was female (that's Atlantia for you).

In my Clanne, we have a high percentage of fighting women (sometimes half of the fighters we field at war are female), and in celtic society warrior women were not all that uncommon. Most of the men that I know think fighter women in general are hot (even with helm hair, ugh).

Every year at Pennsic, we do the women in white march, in which our non-combatant women don white tunics and bronze spears and lead the warriors to battle on the day of the field battle.

Last year, as we were making our procession to the battlefield from the bog, a man in the yelled "You're letting you're women lead you?" The comment upset the men in the clanne almost more than the women. One of our fighters yelled back "Our women are our best warriors!"

If you're at Pennsic, be sure you catch our women in white procession, which culminates with a small ceremony on the battlefield.

Adriano · Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 10:45 pm Post subject:

I never really thought about it. I've met quite a few female fighters, some of whom I knew were straight, a few I knew were gay or bi. But most of them, I don't know because it's not something I ask people.

There's a stereotype of women's athletics in general having a high percentage of lesbian participants; I don't know how much that's based on truth.

audax · Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 3:10 am Post subject:

All softball players are lesbian by default.
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Martel le Hardi
squire to Meser Lyonel Oliver Grace, fostered to Sir Gaston de Clermont
-------------------------------------------------------

The Minstrel's Champion

SL.Vagus · Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 6:38 am Post subject:

Don't forget PE coaches

serafima_m · Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 1:35 am Post subject:

LittleRat · Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 4:39 am Post subject:

<<<Straight girl

I've struggled with labels on my sexuality my entire life because of a shaved head (for YEARS), mannish manner or general ungirlyness. I've adopted a mentality that specifies, in armor, i am a nongendered combatant, to be judged on my skill and honor, out of armor, i am me. I am brusque, bawdy, and a very strong woman. and what happens under my skirts isn't anyone else's business. The sexuality of a women fighter shouldn't matter. period. straight, gay, bi, trans. it doesnt matter. Smile

my two cents

Wu Yun · Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:13 pm Post subject:

I can't say I've ever encountered an issue with it. I'm not girly, but I can be a flirt. I don't know that I'm visibly straight (my husband is though.)

It seems odd to me that people would just automatically assume you're a lesbian because you fight. My mental stability has been called into question but never my orientation.

Maybe it's where I live? There just aren't very many openly gay Scadians that I've met in Meridies. I suppose the closer you get to a larger city that may change. I'm sort of in the backwoods. =shrug= Who knows?