thegirlsclub

[audax]

Cisco, for my part, no offense was taken. You seemed sincere in your desire to work through this.

This is a hot button for many women. It pisses us off to be treated like we are somehow lesser. Most of us are very sensitive to sexism, which is what drives your belief that you should not hit women. It took guts for you to admit this openly on a womens forum. Just remember that people are going to have their reactions, good or bad and you might have to wade thorugh a bit of anger in the process.

I am big and strong. I have trained martial arts for years. When I was first studying martial arts, I was told over and over again to power down during sparring because I have so much physical power. When I started in the SCA, it was hard for me to hit people as hard as we do and to trust that they were okay with the power levels. I simply had to walk through it and consciously force myself into the discomfort zone. So I understand to some degree what you are trying to deal with.

The key is that I became mindful of what I was doing and pushed myself beyond what i thought was appropriate. It bothers me when someone winces. But I remember that this game involves pain. If someone does not want me to hit them and inflict pain on them, they should not fight me. If they are armored up and trying to hit me with a stick, then it's okay for me to hit them back.

The Chivalric Path requires that one move through discomfort and do things that are hard or unwonted. I encourage you to continue working on this. If you prefer, you may PM me.
_________________
Martel le Hardi
squire to Meser Lyonel Oliver Grace, fostered to Sir Gaston de Clermont
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The Minstrel's Champion

[Isabella E]

I was not offended either and I hope that my posts didn't come across that way. I am sincere in wanting to try and help you because that seems to be what you are looking for from us. I commend you for coming to this forum specifically to talk about it because it is a sensitive subject.
_________________
It's not the most powerful animal that survives. It's the most efficient. -Georges St-Pierre
http://windyvalleybanners.blogspot.com/

[maxntropy]

Cisco:

People in armour are fighters. Period.

When you see one of your best friends in the list across from you do you have any hesitation hitting them or causing them pain more than anyone else because of your relationship? What if it was your Cousin or your Brother? Why not... because when they are armour, they are not your best friend, Cousin or Brother, but simply a fighter worthy of the honor and respect due any fighter.

To me there is no such thing as a "woman fighter", there are simply fighters who are women (as there are fighters who are tall, short, fat, thin, black, white, Asian, Italian, etc...) -- and I don't know why anyone would want to create such differentiations amongst fighters. We don't even have weight classes -- everyone in the lists is an opponent equally worthy of my respect and best fight.

On the field, I believe medieval Chivalry applies (the code of martial conduct) to fighters, and folks in armour are fighters regardless. Off the field, then all that courtly love and Victorian Chivalry stuff applies. As a squire in scuffed-up armour, I'm devoted to defending the weak and rescuing maidens in distress. In my experience, fighters who are women are neither weak nor in distress -- in fact, they have always shown themselves to be women of tremendous personal character, resolve, strength, and assurance. Mistakenly believing that it is your Chivalric duty to protect these individuals of significant personal fortitude is simply inappropriate and demeaning.

Off the field and mundanely they are Ladies and I believe we should actively defend them against anyone who would even consider approaching them with a hand raised. But on the field... it would be a sign of utter disrespect and contempt of their goals and capabilities if we were to bring them anything but our best fight. They are tough, capable, independent ladies -- and it is our duty to provide each and every fighter the respect and honor due any other.

I hope you are able to move beyond your current dilemma, and treat these fighters as you would wish to be treated in their turnshoes.

Sincerely,

Max Von Halstern

[Isabella E]

<3
_________________
It's not the most powerful animal that survives. It's the most efficient. -Georges St-Pierre
http://windyvalleybanners.blogspot.com/

[maxntropy]

[Isabella E]

<3 is the same as this...


_________________
It's not the most powerful animal that survives. It's the most efficient. -Georges St-Pierre
http://windyvalleybanners.blogspot.com/

[maxntropy]

[Isabella E]

Your commentary is just always excellent and insightful.
_________________
It's not the most powerful animal that survives. It's the most efficient. -Georges St-Pierre
http://windyvalleybanners.blogspot.com/

[maxntropy]

[Isabella E]

I'd be surprised if you have a huge ego problem. You've never come off that way to me.
_________________
It's not the most powerful animal that survives. It's the most efficient. -Georges St-Pierre
http://windyvalleybanners.blogspot.com/

[maxntropy]

[Isabella E]

Ponte Alto Valkyrie Squad fighting force of extraordinary magnitude? That sounds pretty badass. Do we get cool uniforms? Winged helmets?[/img]
_________________
It's not the most powerful animal that survives. It's the most efficient. -Georges St-Pierre
http://windyvalleybanners.blogspot.com/

[audax]

PAVSFFoEM?
_________________
Martel le Hardi
squire to Meser Lyonel Oliver Grace, fostered to Sir Gaston de Clermont
-------------------------------------------------------

The Minstrel's Champion

[Isabella E]

Haha. That's a ridiculously long acronym.
_________________
It's not the most powerful animal that survives. It's the most efficient. -Georges St-Pierre
http://windyvalleybanners.blogspot.com/

[maxntropy]