thegirlsclub

Cunian

I'm thinking of the guy who will practice with you and cheer you and show you cool shots and be your biggest fan, but just doesn't think a ***** can quite cut the mustard when things get serious. He's the nice guy who would never feel he was being condescending, just understanding of the greater hurdles you must face. He's not a jerk, he just won't press as hard or take as hard or expect as much because he's such a nice guy. He won't tell you, because you might take it badly and he'd hate to make you feel bad when you're doing so well...for a ******.

Do you know this guy? Does he drive you nuts? Is he just being realistic? How do you deal with him?

(Me, I stay friendly, 'cause he really is a nice guy and doesn't mean anything but the best. But I do try to bust his brains in. Doesn't seem to help with the basic problem though. Is he 'letting' me bust his brains in because...wait for it...he's such a nice guy?)

Natasha Maria · Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 3:11 am Post subject:

I know versions of this guy too.

One suggestion I got (from Sir Gunther of Avacal, if I remember correctly) was to ask for "Tourney Level" fights from people. This is useful for me not just with the condescending fighters, but also with the really good fighters who seldom give you their best at practice. With the fantastic fighters I never really feel like I can count my accomplishments since they are in "teaching mode" at practice.

I try to ask for three tourney level fights and then I consider how those went when I'm trying to self-evaluate since I asked for their best. Will this guy give you his best? Maybe, maybe not. But I think it still counts Smile

Kicking his butt in tourney works even better of course.

I also work on hearing what they mean, rather than what they say, although this doesn't stop me from laughing about it later... this can be made worse by my husband telling me about what they said when I couldn't hear. My most recent favorite was that I was "Surprisingly good".

I think these well meaning guys are everywhere... best of luck!

Maria da Palermo
Squire to "The Skegg"

Wrenn · Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:43 pm Post subject:

Yup, just kick it up and demand (by the level of my fight) a good fight.
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Adwen Wrenn, Squire to Sir Hrothgar Thorvaldsson

freiman the minstrel · Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 9:57 pm Post subject:

I think that this is a real problem, for a lot of reasons.

I had a nice, long post, but I deleted it.

How honest would you like me to be?

freiman
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Surf less, fight more

Ariadne · Club Member Joined: 15 Nov 2009 Posts: 183 : Items

Cunian · Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 10:26 pm Post subject:

I'm actually wanting you to be honest here. These are not people I think poorly of at all, or that I think think particularly poorly of me. And, to be entirely frank, I've been this nice guy on occasion myself. I think it's a difficult nut to crack - on either end.

Jesmond

LadyLia · Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 4:50 am Post subject:

freiman the minstrel · Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 5:48 pm Post subject:

Actually, I am in a strange place with this.

I really hope that this doesn't make me hugely unpopular here, because I deeply cherish my association with this board.

I know, deep down, that there is no reason that any person cannot have a good time, and be successful within this game. With proper technique, a seventy pound woman has broken a soundly built helm on my head. Physical strength plays a role, of course, but that is only a small part of it.

I know that with proper training, and intelligent, contentious practice, any person can be a winner, at the very highest levels.

The other side of the coin is that while I believe in women fighters, and I don't see any reason that they can't be winners, I have yet to meet a woman who can consistently beat me. I have been actively searching out female fighters since this board was founded, and I have fought a lot of them.

I do not mean to say that "There ain't no girl can whoop me." That would be untrue. I have fought women that were better than me, and beat me, say, six to four out of ten. Granted, I am pretty low stress fight for anybody, male or female, with a white belt on.

At some point, I should have met the woman that dominates me as easily as Duke Prothall, or Duke Garrik. I haven't yet. One of the great let downs of my fighting career was this past summer when I realized that Nissan Maxima was actually bored while fighting me. Since I am miles away from reaching the level of these people, and I probably never will reach that level, I am forced to wonder whether or not my assumption that any person can succeed is accurate.

So I am as guilty of friendly condescension as any other person on the field, and I don't want to be.

There, brutal, unvarnished honesty.

It may be that I am thinking along the wrong lines. If so, I would really appreciate it if you would be as honest with me as I have been with you today. I took what I felt was a risk, because I really like being here, and I believe in this forum.

freiman the minstrel
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Surf less, fight more

Jesmond · Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 9:32 pm Post subject:

What you have written, without more, is not condescending.

Divide all armoured combatants into two groups by gender.

The average level of skill of female fighters is much lower than the average level of skill of male fighters. The average level of dedication of female fighters is much lower than the average level of dedication of male fighters.

Lack of competance and dedication has delivered a blow to the reputation of female fighters that appears impossible to counter.

Cunian · Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 2:07 am Post subject:

audax · Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 2:18 am Post subject:

Apparently, guys have figured out they need their A-game with me. At least with polearm/greatweapon. I'm cool with that.
_________________
Martel le Hardi
squire to Meser Lyonel Oliver Grace, fostered to Sir Gaston de Clermont
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The Minstrel's Champion

Cunian · Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 2:21 am Post subject:

Freiman -

I still think you're fine. And I basically agree with you. Though I think size and strength do matter more than you give them credit for. Not that I think it can't be done by anyone, but someone 6'1", 225#, 10% body fat maybe has to do something 50% right to get a creditable blow out of it while someone 5'4", 130#, 20% body fat might have to do the same thing 90% right to get it to work. And with one blow to make or break - that's a sizable advantage. Dunno, I don't feel like I have a lot of the answer here.

rauokinn · Senior Club Member Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 484 : Items

Ariadne · Club Member Joined: 15 Nov 2009 Posts: 183 : Items