Again, thank you all for the feedback and responses. While not all are "rainbows and lollipops", again, sometimes I need to hear them.
I'd like to comment on the firefighter thing. They probably had the right to tell you, and while I wouldn't agree with being mean about it you are getting paid to do it (unless you're a volunteer) so the comments about health really fall into safety as well. Both for you and your comrades.
I want to heavy fight. Right now it's a "just for fun" thing. If I lose weight doing it, great. If not, oh well. If I find that I really like it then I will put some real and serious dedication into it and into my body. My intention is to try everything in the SCA, find what I like and do it more. Dedicate myself to it. What I don't like, I will try again. If I still don't like it, no loss to me.
I don't want to sound like a "casual" fighter, but right now that's what I am. I have more important things that need to be done, like finding a job. If I find that I love it and I can't live without it then I'll put my all into. Both heart and soul, as well as money. Right now I can't afford to put too much into it until my finances get better.
I don't know if people have been wondering, but I'll put it out there.
I'm 32 years old. I was married for nearly 10 years before my 31 year old husband passed away from a heart attack (complications of a heart condition AND his weight @400+). I know full well the issues of weight.
I'm 5'3" and I'm roughly 270ish. Yeah, I know it's high. I get it. I've dropped more than 50 pounds in the 2.5 years since my husband died. It was a blow to my ego because he didn't know how hard I worked to get to where I am NOW. He only see's what I am now, not what I was. I'm proud of my work on ME and I know there's more to be done. I hit this plateau where it seems like no matter what I do it doesn't change. I was hoping that fighting would be enough to push me past my plateau.
Maybe I will get the chance to tell him all of this, then I hope he can understand why he hurt me so deeply. I was over 320# less than 3 years ago. I bust my ass to keep it that way. I eat better, better than I ever have. I barely drink soda, I don't do fast food very often at all (though I had cut it out completely for over a year), and I don't eat any meat but chicken and the occasional ham here and there. Oh, and turkey! I cook for myself, I use "light" cookbooks. Blah blah blah.
I just need to kick it up a notch. He hit me hard with his statements, it was something that I knew that I had planned on working on. It was so very in my face that I was completely taken aback.
/shrug and w/e
What's done is done. I can only move forward. I hope that he and I can get along, at least to each others faces. I plan on being there Wednesday again.
I also have a very healthy BF. Military and amazingly in shape. He's my coach. I've got it pretty good. Now if only I can start getting up early and get a good schedule going I'll be in "better shape" towards fighting.
Mostly I am meaning that you see the same kind of mentality on the heavy field too, which is dominated by guys. I have watched first hand now guys treating women who had some real hurdles to overcome physically, with kid gloves, so they didn't hurt her feelings. They didn't tell her the weird weapon and shield styles she wanted to start out fighting with would rob her of some of her throwing power, or were just hard or plain goofy. Of course I've also seen it happen with a guy who was completely unsuited to fighting, armored up once, then never came back. Nice people don't want to hurt anyone else's feelings but sometimes that leads to unrealistic expectations too. :\ _________________ It's not the most powerful animal that survives. It's the most efficient. -Georges St-Pierre
Sorry but I haven't visited these boards in a long time.
Knights become curt and tactless when talking about these things because we have given out the same factual advice 50,000 times...and were ignored 49,990 times.
This guy should have been less grating- it was a show of weakness to tell you these things without at least trying to make you feel comfortable a bit.
SCA people have problems with courtesy now because we have lost touch with our Arthurian idealistic past. Every era of history the same thing was said; that there was once a golden age where the strongest and most dangerous men were the most courteous men.
The rude, lawless anti-hero is now the ideal...which -of course- is bullshit.
I've got the usual bouncing ball of numbers on my weight scale, a fight I started nearly 3 years ago and certainly have not won yet. I don't tend to listen to anyone anymore about it either, especially when it comes from my family. Still, if he's suggesting lifting weight with food cans it's because he understood that you had no money for gyms and buying light weights to do high reps on, it was a good suggestion.
It sounds like he deliberately tried to scare you off by telling you everything on the big long list to make you a very good top shape fighter. It also sounds like he was in a bad mood and was very callous about it. Bottom line, rise to the challenge, bite your tongue, and step up. You can do it. A potential enemy just gave you all the tools you need to defeat them. _________________ Isabel Nugent
Barony of the South Downs
Kingdom of Meridies
Weight isn't necessarily a good marker for strength and fitness in any case. Particularly when you first start really working on it. Your weight is going to fluctuate a lot because you're losing fat and gaining muscle. Your body shape can change pretty dramatically while your weight stays exactly the same. _________________ It's not the most powerful animal that survives. It's the most efficient. -Georges St-Pierre
Weight isn't necessarily a good marker for strength and fitness in any case. Particularly when you first start really working on it. Your weight is going to fluctuate a lot because you're losing fat and gaining muscle. Your body shape can change pretty dramatically while your weight stays exactly the same.
I apparently need more coffee because I just tired to find the like button for your post
But yes, what she said! _________________ Isabel Nugent
Barony of the South Downs
Kingdom of Meridies
I've just found that personally, during my own little weight loss fitness journey, that the way my clothes fit, how I feel and how much different things are to be a better gauge of my progress than the scale. I keep hitting a plateau after a while where I'm not losing any weight according to the scale and it isn't until I change up my routine again that I start losing pounds again. I think I am close to the point though where losing is going to be a lot harder and really unrealistic and getting fitter and stronger is just going to be a better goal.
I think telling someone just to lose some weight is dismissive and not very helpful. Anyway, how many fat dudes ever get told they are too big to fight? Probably not very many. They are probably strong enough to swing a stick and hold up a shield to begin with. If you're a woman you're going to hear stuff no one ever says to a guy in the same situation.
Getting strong and fast never hurt anybody's fighting though. I guarantee that people will start dealing with you differently and fighting you more seriously when you get stronger. You don't need a gym or special equipment to do it (though it helps me a lot to do it at the gym and I've talked about it in the Weight Whackers section a lot if I remember right). _________________ It's not the most powerful animal that survives. It's the most efficient. -Georges St-Pierre
You can absolutely fight without being super fit, but I will say it does help. The guy who won our kingdom's grand tournament this year is a crossfit personal trainer and looks like he is chiseled out of human marble, he's just a squire but he managed to take multiple super-dukes out with endurance and speed. Technique helped I am sure, and he's got a great knight he's squired to, but I don't think anyone expected him to do what he did. _________________ Isabel Nugent
Barony of the South Downs
Kingdom of Meridies
You don't have to be super fit, but let's be honest. Women are generally smaller and less strong than their male counterparts. Being in better shape for women is going to make a proportionally greater difference imo, just due to basic physiological differences. A couch potato guy is going to be stronger than a couch potato woman of the same height and weight.
I say the same stuff to women who tell me they want to be firefighters too. Set yourself up for success and you save yourself a lot of pain and suffering along the way. _________________ It's not the most powerful animal that survives. It's the most efficient. -Georges St-Pierre
Hey! Nothing wrong with rainbows... if they're rainbows ON FIRE!
Thanks to Dairy Queen for an awesome commercial.
Max Von Halstern[/img]
Max "and now for something completely different" Von Halstern, thanks for making me laugh out loud. Again. This was really not what I expected to see next while reading through this thread. You balance the serious and thoughtful with the humorous better, I think, than anyone else I know of.
But humor apart, thank you to everyone who has taken a part in authoring this useful thread. Reading about issues like this and how one should go about dealing with them is really helpful, and I so appreciate the honesty and realness of everyone here - from those who are new to those speaking from many years of experience and from doubtlessly having learned at least one or two of their lessons the hard way.
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