thegirlsclub

Jesmond · Posted: Wed May 06, 2009 5:58 pm Post subject: Not like other female fighters?

I'm working on another one of my Minerva letters. This one is going to address two opposite trends I see: 1. the ways in which some women are encouraged to associate and compete almost solely with other female fighters and 2. the ways in which some women are encouraged to avoid collaboration and associations with other female fighters.

One of my experiences has been that male fighters will tell me, "You are not like other female fighters" and say this like it is a compliment. Has this happened to you? Are you willing to share about it?

If you'd rather move this into the ladies room, say so. I'm happy to go there.

Isabella E · Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 12:13 am Post subject:

There doesn't seem to be as deep of a bias towards female fighters in Atenveldt. It may be because the first female knight is from our kingdom and there's quite a few female fighters in general. Women here are encouraged to collaborate and get together and fight each other and share knowledge but not over men or in any preference or anything.
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Jesmond · Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 12:50 am Post subject:

That's good to hear. But I'm interested to know how common the "You are not like other female fighters" compliment / experience is and how those who receive it feel about it.

Isabella E · Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 12:57 am Post subject:

I can ask on my morning email list if you like. Several of my lady friends from Phoenix fight together with their barony at wars.
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It's not the most powerful animal that survives. It's the most efficient. -Georges St-Pierre
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broinnfinn · Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 7:42 pm Post subject:

rauokinn · Senior Club Member Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 484 : Items

I just wrote these down in my livejournal about a month ago :

So, I was handed a back handed compliment at fight practice last night and it made me laugh, but I also realized that whenever someone gives me a backhanded compliment or says some stupid shit I file it away and use it later to get in the "zone" when I'm fighting them, so I thought, what are some of my favorite back handed compliments/ stupid shit people say I have received over the years?

--You hit hard for a girl.
--You fight well for a girl.
--Who is that girl that fights like a guy?
--You actually hit hard.
--(After a thorough beating) Wow, it looks like you have actually been practicing.
--I'll try not to hurt you (fighter)
--Try not to hurt her, honey (consort said in front of me)
(after a thorough beating) I guess you don't have a power problem.
--I'm saving myself for the whitebelts (after I was knighted)
--The guys up here are talking about seeing you up here lately and now they understand why you got knighted (said to me at a Tir Righ event last fall).

I'm sure there are more, but these are the ones that stick out, good intentions do not override social ineptness.

Wrenn · Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 5:02 pm Post subject:

yup...
I have to say that this An Tir squires tourney had some really good hard hitting female fighters- but then when a couple of owmen were chosen to fight it out for most chivalric the lound cat fight comments were thrown out which is a huge pet peeve of mine- just feels sooo rude and derogatory when the "bring on the bikinis and mud" shit comes out... nothing wrong with bikini mud wrestling- but not why either woman has put on 30lbs of gear and trained her ass off.

This weekend I was still taken aside and given the "talk" about how I had/was "moving beyond being a female fighter" and in the past have been said to have "overcome my gender"\\

I know that these are things that people say because they believe it's a compliment- and I choose to relax and smile and say 'it's ok- I hit like a girl"
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Adwen Wrenn, Squire to Sir Hrothgar Thorvaldsson

broinnfinn · Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 8:55 pm Post subject:

Cunian · Posted: Tue May 19, 2009 12:29 am Post subject:

I've certainly gotten that as a complement at times. Can't remember any specific occasions, though, since I think it's been a while.

Elizabeth Carter · Posted: Tue May 19, 2009 6:20 pm Post subject:

I was just talking to a fighter that I respect greatly about training me. He asked me if I was willing to fight like a man. I told him sure, if he was willing to keep training me even if I cryed like a girl.... I am still not sure what we were talking about. My husband said something about it being more then being agressive.... men can fight without regard for their opponant..... I think we are talking about feelings here, not the physical. But like I said, I am still not sure what they are talking about.

Elizabeth Carter · Posted: Thu May 28, 2009 1:37 am Post subject:

I got some clarification.... apparently men can look at a goal (killing the opponant, in this case) and see ONLY the goal where a woman sees the goal along with every obstical between her and that goal. Part of that multitasking thing, I guess. I, being a woman, don't see anything wrong with assesing obsticals. If I ignore them, how can I defeat them? Anyway, I don't know if this adds any depth to the question for you Jesmond, but I found it weird and thought I would share....

lyonnete · Posted: Fri May 29, 2009 7:36 pm Post subject:

Don't think I ever got that particular comment. I did get "You're doing this for the right reasons," a lot - and when I pressed, got, "Some girls just want to look good in armor".

As for encouragement to fight with other women, team up and such?

Well, I was on an all-female team at a small melee tourney once, and I felt really awkward about it. I was good friends with two of the other ladies and felt obliged to help them out with filling out their team, but it did feel like there was a lot of "Here come the girls" and such from the crowd... and since we were predominantly newer fighters, we got our asses handed to us, which then made me feel like we'd let the side down, y'know?

I do feel encouragement to fight other women and with other women - but personally I don't like to. I avoid women in pick-up lists and bearpits - places where I can avoid them. Though other women have sought me out for pick-ups. I hate it. I don't know if there's a camp of women who avoid fighting women and those who seek it out... I did fight at the Iron Rose Tourney at Pennsic. Maybe I should more, and try to beat this not-fighting-girls thing out of me...

Isabella E · Posted: Sat May 30, 2009 4:29 am Post subject:

The only time I feel it is a problem to seek out and fight other women or take part in stuff with them is if it's to the exclusion of anything else. But then I have sometimes found myself in a minority on that account.
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It's not the most powerful animal that survives. It's the most efficient. -Georges St-Pierre
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Ulfhildr · Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 7:49 am Post subject:

The closest I've had to "not like other female fighters" is a lot of the female fighters the people I talk to know are bouncy happy people, and I'm more gruff. So I've been teased about being Ulf, destroyer of worlds, but I don't take it as a "ooh, you're so different from the female fighters!!" I take it more as a comment on my aloof nature in general.

As for teaming up/avoiding other women, I don't make an effort nor have I been guided to do either. I haven't been to many events yet, and most of our practices have had me being the only woman. But the times there are other women there, we've been put on same teams, different teams. I've always felt like it's an honest trying to split up skills to be most effective or practical, especially at the fight practices I've been to.
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haddyDrow · New Club Member Joined: 22 Sep 2009 Posts: 7 : Items

I take "You fight diffrently" as a good thing, if a guy dosen't know what he's facing against, espicially for the first time, they end up underestimating me, (And appriciating me after a through beating.)
Since at I don't look like a good fighter either, I usally land three to five hits before people know what they're up against and start making an effort.

When I fought with a small group of amazon women in a fantasy LARP I noticed people stayed away from us, we were ferocious!
I've noticed that fighting other women is diffrent, too, we hit hard.

So take your opponent's aloofness as a good thing and in good spirit, all the more for the suprise factor.